How to Attract Men: 26 Must-Knows & Irresistible Secrets No One Talks About!

When it comes to knowing how to attract men, there are a few very real secrets no one ever talks about. Want to be the girl who can catch any guy’s eye?

There’s an evolutionary secret that can help you understand how to attract men and make them desire you instantly. And the real secret’s right here. It’s not just about a few tips or moves to get a guy interested in you.

If you understand the very real idea behind attraction, you’ll see everything in a whole new way. The science of attraction between the sexes, as complicated as it may seem, is pretty simple to explain in a few lines.

What attracts you to a man?

From hundreds of studies and research over the decades, we’ve learned that girls are more easily attracted to a guy who appears healthy and stress-free, has a good level of testosterone which makes him appear more manly and chiseled, and has a protective streak in him which makes him a good mate material and a father.

Guys, on the other hand, are more easily attracted to girls based on their appearance or behavior.

But that’s not it though.

To truly understand how to attract men and how a man’s mind works, we need to get deeper into the concept of attraction from the male point of view.

How to attract men in a way they can’t resist

A guy may like a girl for different reasons. But when it comes to physical or sexual attraction at first sight, her physical appearance and her behavior matters more than anything else. We’re just being honest here. And we all need a foundation to start with.

So if you want to attract a man and make him desire you, you just need to get his attention the right way. Read these 22 ways to get a guy’s attention in any circumstance and you’ll be sure to catch his eye in the first place.

But here’s the key thought to remember. And you need to keep this in mind. Love and attraction are two completely different things. A guy may find you extremely attractive and sexy, and yet he may not end up falling in love with you. To be drawn to a woman, there are things that are far more important than just looking “sexy”. 

Of course, for love to blossom in the first place, it’s important to attract him and build the sexual attraction with him. But to make him fall in love with you, he needs to feel emotionally connected to you. Want to know more about how that works, read this feature on how men actually fall in love and the 7 stages they go through before they fall for someone. 

Attraction and how a man views a woman’s body

As we know that physical attraction plays a very big part in attracting a guy, you need to understand what a guy’s mind tells him when he sees you and sizes you up sexually.

When a guy sees a girl’s physical assets, he subconsciously sees more than just your breasts or your butt. The right curves in all the right places tells a guy that a girl is fertile and has come of age, and that she’s healthy because her body can afford to waste energy on developing her curves which play the biggest role in sexual attraction.

A guy may think a girl is attractive. But in his subconscious mind, he’s gauging you as the woman who may carry his offspring one day. Of course, it doesn’t matter if you’re looking for a fling or a partner, this is just what a man subconsciously sees in a woman if he intends to approach her. [Read: Evolution and the parts of a woman’s body that has the biggest impact on men]

Testosterone and a man’s sexual preference

Every man produces testosterone, a sexual hormone, in his testes. And women produce a small amount of testosterone in their ovaries. The more testosterone a man produces, the more manly he looks and the more sexually virile he is. His facial features appear manlier, his jaws are wider and more chiseled and his voice is deeper.

And several studies have shown that the more manly a man is, the more attracted he’d be to women who exhibit feminine traits. Here are 20 things that make a woman appear more feminine in a guy’s eyes if you’re interested in knowing what guys consider feminine and what they don’t.

On the other hand, a small percentage of men who produce a lesser-than-normal amount of testosterone may find themselves getting more attracted to women who are less feminine and more controlling and dominant in the relationship.

So if you’re trying to catch the attention of a masculine guy *a large percentage of men have normal or high production of testosterone even though the overall average testosterone levels have dropped significantly in American men over the last 50 years*, chances are, he’d love you if your behavior is more feminine, cute and girly! [Read: Do guys prefer dating cute, shy girls over other girls?]

The perfect woman for a real man – She’s cute and sexy

A regular masculine man who isn’t suffering from low testosterone would always find a feminine woman more attractive than a woman who thinks femininity is overrated and displays traits that are traditionally considered masculine.

While a girl’s physical appearance is the biggest sign of femininity, at times, it helps if you can display more femininity in your behavior. No, I’m not saying pink frills and scented paper. But there are always other ways to appear cuter and get a guy to take a second and third look at you. [Read: The different masculine and feminine traits and how they differ from each other]

Why are guys attracted to cute girls?

Traditionally, men have always been the more aggressive gender in the human species. They’re usually the ones who spread their legs wider, stand taller and swell their chest up while trying to appear threatening all the time, more so when they’re in an argument or when they meet someone they see as a threat in any manner.

But femininity changes everything. When a girl behaves in a cute and feminine manner, it brings out the protective instincts of a man. Instead of feeling threatened by a feminine girl, he feels vulnerable around her, and protective about her. That makes him feel more masculine, and that’s something every guy loves to feel! [Read: Why men love a damsel in distress and feel more emotionally connected to them]

When a girl reveals her feminine side to a guy, it’s very hard for any guy to ignore her or avoid noticing her vulnerability. And the instant his mind connects with her vulnerability, it eliminates any thoughts of a threat and his protective side creates a bond of protection and attachment with her.

He feels the need to be around her, and his subconscious mind tries very hard to make her feel protected, comfortable and loved around him.

He loses his aggressive stance, the tone of his voice softens, and his shoulders droop down towards her instead of spreading wide. And before he even gives attraction a second thought, he’d realize that he likes the girl already!

If you’re wondering how to talk to him in a way that brings out this protectiveness, use these 34 powerful yet cute ways to sweet talk to a guy and reveal his masculinity.

Traits of a cute and feminine woman that draw a man

When it comes to knowing how to attract a guy, many girls are against the idea of being too feminine or behaving in a cute manner. To a typical modern day woman, behaving in a demure or coy manner is a sign of weakness. And they can’t accept that a guy finds a cute girl more attractive than a girl who likes to take on a masculine role in the relationship. [Read: 40 traits of a feminine man who prefers masculine women in the relationship]

If you’re feminine, you don’t really have to be cute or act dumb. You can just be yourself! But if you can reveal more of your feminine traits to a guy, it would only add to your allure and make you more desirable among men.

Instead of looking down at a girl who considers herself cute *or behaves in a cute manner*, try to see how she behaves. Most feminine women are not meek or silly, nor do they have to behave like stupid bimbos to win a guy’s affection.

All they do is flaunt what sets them apart from men, and that’s their femininity and grace. With that small behavioral change, they end up becoming women who can control powerful men and wrap them around their little pinky! [Read: The easiest ways to become a lot more graceful and feminine]

And no testosterone laden guy can resist the allure of a feminine girl when he’s having a conversation with her. Everything about them makes them appear more beautiful and feminine, right from their cute expressions, the way they nod their head, the way they behave while having a conversation with a man, to the way they smile coyly and yet so warmly.

Femininity comes naturally to most girls, but it’s an art that’s worth honing. If you want to know how to attract men, all you need to do is exude your feminine side while talking to them. And once you try that, you’ll know what I’m talking about. 

And remember, a cute girl who displays her feminine side will always have an edge over all other girls when she’s trying to catch the attention of a masculine man! Want to know how you can be more feminine effortlessly? Use these 25 tips on how to look cute and exude femininity and you’ll be able to attract men without even trying!

To most women, femininity comes naturally. But cuteness can be created by the way you behave. 

How to bring out your feminine side naturally

If you’re spending time with a guy and want to come across as a girl who’s in touch with her femininity, there are many things you can do effortlessly!

1. Talk in a soft tone, if it’s a guy you’re trying to attract.

2. Smile more often. A smile can make you appear more pleasant and friendly.

3. Run your fingers through your hair delicately. Always works for any guy!

4. Tip your head slightly downwards when you’re blushing or smiling, and look at him from under your eyebrow.

These four simple tips may sound bizarre to someone who’s against displaying “girly” traits, but it will do wonders for your date!

You may be wondering why we haven’t shared more tips on how to attract men here. That’s because we have lots of them on LovePanky already. What we’re trying to get you to understand here is just what works best when it comes to knowing how to attract a man with the least possible effort!

If you want more tips, read any of these helpful features on how to attract men, and you’ll be able to impress and seduce any guy within the first conversation with him! *all of these links will open in a new tab*

Want to know how to flirt, but don’t think you’re a flirty girl? Use this guide on how to flirt with a guy without really flirting at all to talk as you normally would, but with a few flirty differences!

Want to attract a guy? Try these 25 charming ways to make a guy fall in love with you.

Looking for the subtlest ways to make him desire you? Use these 20 subtle ways to get a man to chase you!

And finally, if you want to seduce a man, master these 33 ways to seduce a man who’s not yet yours and hook him hard with your femininity.

How to attract men – Be yourself, but be better

Contrary to popular belief, don’t be yourself. Evolve.

When someone tells you that the best way to attract someone is by being yourself, well, they’re not entirely right. All of us change all the time. And not every change that we see in ourselves may be in the right direction.

Who are you? How would you define yourself? We are who we are because of our socioeconomic status, the people around us, social media, your current desires and wants, and other influences we’ve had in our lifetime. We change all the time, heck, you’re not who you were last year, are you?

A lucky few may have had the opportunity to be influenced by the perfect role models, while most of us have to change to become better individuals. Or worse, we never get to become better individuals or achieve the full potential that’s within us because we’re convinced we’re all perfect already. We’re bull-headed and believe in something, and don’t want to change no matter what! [Read: 25 life-changing lessons you need to learn to perfect your life]

You don’t have to change yourself just to attract men, but change yourself to become a better you. Have you ever walked into a room full of attractive women, and found yourself thinking that a few of those girls were better than you in some way?

When you meet a woman and find yourself in awe of her for any reason at all, it only means you admire and desire some particular trait of hers that you lack yourself.

If you like a trait about a friend, be it her spontaneity, her courage, her carefree attitude, her posture, or the way she dresses up, your mind may subconsciously like that trait because you want to see that trait in yourself. A change of this kind is good, where you see something you like and want to see that in yourself. [Read: Why inner beauty is far more important than outer beauty in attracting someone]

A girl who is the epitome of perfection in every way *if she does exist* won’t be awed by anyone else. On the other hand, everywhere she goes, she’d be the girl that would receive compliments, stares and awed jaws!

So change often, become the dream girl you fantasize about in your head, and be the girl you really want to be. And life will turn out to be so much better for you, be it about men, work, friends or anything else.

It’s easy to push a thought away and assume it’s wrong to be feminine or assume it’s a bad thing to change. But change is good. And change is inevitable. You’re going to change whether you like it or not. And you have a choice to become a better you, or a worse you. [Read: How to achieve perfection in every step you take]

No-fail tips for how to attract a guy

A guy may like a girl for different reasons. But when it comes to physical or sexual attraction at first sight, her appearance and behavior matter more than anything else. So if you want to attract a man and make him desire you, you just need to get his attention the right way.

Now you know the science behind attraction, it’s time to get practical. Finding the right man is not that difficult. So, if you want to know how to attract a guy, here are tips that make all the difference.

1. Be self-confident

Confidence is sexy. Most guys would much rather be with an average-looking, confident woman than a supermodel who feels badly about herself.

So, the number one most important thing to remember when you are learning how to attract a guy is to love yourself. [Read: Tips to fall in love with yourself and be a better YOU]

2. Don’t be needy

If you’re confident, then you won’t be needy, right? People turn needy when they don’t think they’re good enough, and as a result, they want attention. They want people to tell them how great they are as a way to gain confidence. But confidence doesn’t come from others, it comes from yourself.

Avoid doing this as it’s a total turn-off to guys *and girls too*. Needy people annoy almost everyone, so rise above it.

3. Don’t chase him

If you have high self-esteem, you won’t be needy. And if you’re not needy, then you won’t chase him. Let’s face it ladies, men are hard-wired to chase us. They are hunters. So keep it that way – stop chasing him. [Read: Tired of chasing? Here’s how to make you chase you instead!]

4. Have a sense of humor

No, this doesn’t mean that you have to be a stand-up comedian, cracking jokes every five minutes. But it does mean that you shouldn’t take life – or yourself – so seriously.

Guys like girls who can laugh at themselves. It means you feel good about yourself! And laughing at life’s inevitable mishaps means that hanging out with you is fun. And who doesn’t like to have fun? [Read: How to get a guy’s attention in any circumstance]

5. Be interesting

In other words, stay away from gossip and read a book once in a while instead. Most people like a good conversation. And if you are only talking about the latest episode of whatever TV series is in fashion or whatever gossip is circulating your friend group, well, he’s going to get bored with you.

6. Be happy

Wouldn’t you rather be around a happy person instead of a Debbie Downer? Of course, you would! Happy people are infectious. People are drawn to them because they make others feel good.

No one wants to hang out with an energy vampire who always complains. So love yourself, laugh, have fun, and be happy! [Read: How to be happy in life and live life to the fullest]

7. Be kind

Do you really think a guy would want to date a nasty and mean girl? Maybe some would. But generally speaking, people like nice people. And that means guys too! Just because a girl is hot doesn’t mean that she can hold a guy’s interest if she’s generally quite nasty. At least not long term.

8. Be empathetic

This goes along with being kind. When people are kind, they can identify with other people’s experiences and feelings. When someone says, “I understand what you’re going through,” it makes us feel better, and guys feel no different.

Guys like girls who can express empathy to others. [Read: How to be nice – 20 easy tips to make everyone love being around you]

9. Be independent

While some guys like to take care of their girls, there is a difference between wanting to take care of them and needing to take care of them. Have your own career, your own friends, your own money, and your own life!

You should want a man, not need a man. Remember, needy isn’t attractive and independence is sexy! [Read: 15 secret qualities all men secretly crave in their woman]

10. Display affectionate body language

Some people have a resting bitch face or some other body language that says, “Don’t come near me.” Well, if you look and act that way, then the guys won’t come near you. So, try to be aware of what message you are sending nonverbally. [Read: Charming ways to be more approachable to guys]

11. Take care of yourself

This doesn’t mean you need to lose a bunch of weight or wear tons of makeup every day. But if you love yourself, you will try to look your best.

Men like a woman who takes care of herself, and that doesn’t just mean physically. Feed your mind and your soul too. Take care of yourself in every way possible.

12. Be mentally healthy

Many people have been through rough times in their lives, but don’t let the past ruin your future. Go and talk to a therapist if you have to. Do anything to get your mental health up to par. [Read: Why we need to breakdown the stigma of mental illness]

13. Be genuine and real

Don’t be fake, men can spot a fake a mile away. Be yourself. Be genuine and real. Because if you’re not, you might snag him and then after dating for a while, your real self will come out. And he might not like it.

So be yourself from the very beginning – that way, there will be no surprises for either one of you. [Read: How to keep a guy interested in 30 super sexy ways]

14. Be mentally strong

A person who is fragile and completely falls apart over any little thing is not attractive to guys. So, if you want to know how to attract a guy, you need the ability to shrug off negativity and other things that you don’t like. Most of that stuff isn’t the end of the world anyway. It’s sexy to be mentally strong.

15. Continually learn new things

You don’t want to become stagnant. For instance, have you ever lost touch with someone from high school only to reconnect with them and realize they are the exact same person? That’s not interesting.

Learn new things. Continually challenge yourself to grow and be a better person. [Read: 15 highs and lows of dating someone smarter than you]

16. Be vulnerable

Yeah, we know, this is a hard one. But, for someone to get to know who you really are, you need to let your guard down. You can’t keep everything inside, or else he’ll quit trying to get to know you.

That doesn’t mean that you should spill your guts on the first date; just self-disclose appropriately. [Read: Ways to show a guy you like him, and still be a tease]

17. Be feminine

As a strong, independent woman, it’s not easy to sit back and let a man take the lead sometimes. We’re so used to getting everything done ourselves. But part of being feminine is to let go of control occasionally.

Men find that attractive in a woman – at least some of the time. [Read: 20 hot tips – the ultimate guide to being more feminine]

18. Don’t hide in the corner

Feeling a little self-conscious is normal sometimes, even for someone who is usually confident. But if you hide yourself away, how are you ever going to let a guy get to know you? And remember, he has to get to know you to want to learn more! So get yourself out there and remember who you are.

19. Ask for his help

Guys love it when a girl asks for their help. It brings out that caveman side of him that allows him to protect his woman. Of course, don’t overdo it and ask him to do everything for you. But a well-placed request for help can go a long way. [Read: White knight syndrome – 15 reasons and signs men love white knighting]

20. Talk about your hobbies

When learning how to attract a guy, talking about your hobbies is a great strategy. It shows that you have a life of your own and things you love to do. Most importantly, it shows that your independent – and independent women are sexy.

21. Look him in the eye

That doesn’t mean you should stare at him, but making eye contact while you’re speaking shows that you’re confident and you’re comfortable in your own skin.

Refusing to meet his eye out of embarrassment doesn’t show coyness, it shows that you’re super uncomfortable. [Read: What does eye contact mean to a guy? Is he a subtle flirt?]

22. Go out alone or with one friend

Guys find it pretty intimidating to approach a girl when she’s surrounded by other people. Would you want to do that? Probably not!

If you want to know how to attract a guy, go out alone if you can, or with just one friend. That way, you’re making it much easier for him to pluck up the courage to approach you. Failing that, you could just be the brave one and approach him!

23. Say thank you

Who doesn’t love a girl with manners? It shows that she has respect for people around her and that’s sexy in itself. So, if he does something for you, say thank you. [Read: Simple tips to avoid being rude in any situation]

24. Smell good

We’re not suggesting that you would go out smelling bad, but it doesn’t hurt to throw on some perfume and make sure that you smell great.

There is another side to this too: he will associate a particular smell with you and whenever he sniffs it, you’ll come into his mind. Magic!

25. Mirror him

Mirroring is a subconscious body language move which means you copy the other person’s stance, without even realizing it. So, if he’s standing with one leg in front of the other, you’ll automatically do the same, but you won’t know you’re doing it.

However, you can be a little sneaky here and know that you’re doing it! Why? Because it shows you’re paying attention and science tells us that when we mirror the body language of another person, it’s connected to attraction.

26. Laugh at his jokes

Most guys have an ego and you can stroke that by laughing at his jokes and making him feel like a superstar. Of course, don’t go around laughing in an over-the-top way or when things just aren’t funny, but if he cracks a joke, laugh! [Read: 21 ways to stroke a guy’s ego and make him feel like a man when he’s down]

Be yourself, but be better

When someone tells you that the best way to attract someone is by being yourself, well, they’re not entirely right or wrong. We all change, all the time. And not every change that we see in ourselves may be in the right direction.

Who are you? How would you define yourself?

We are who we are because of our socioeconomic status, the people around us, social media, current desires and wants, and other influences we’ve had in our lifetime. We change all the time, heck, you’re not who you were last year, are you? [Read: 25 life-changing lessons you need to learn to perfect your life]

You don’t have to change yourself just to attract men, but change yourself to become a better you.

It’s easy to push a thought away and assume it’s wrong to be feminine or assume it’s a bad thing to change. But change is good.

So change often, become the dream girl you fantasize about in your head, and be the girl you want to be. And life will turn out to be so much better for you, be it about men, work, friends, or anything else.

You’re going to change whether you like it or not. And you have a choice to become a better you, or a worse you. [Read: How to achieve perfection in every step you take]

The last word about the science of attraction between the sexes

We’re all animals, and you shouldn’t forget that. We may be wearing pants *or skirts!* or walking on two feet, but that doesn’t change our primal instincts. We still chase each other and woo each other just like animals in the wild. [Read: 23 must-know relationship advice for women]

The male and female sexes still play games to win each other’s affection. Human males still like to woo a female through their display of brute strength, power or their sheer awesomeness. And a man laden with male hormones wants a woman who’s graceful and feminine, because subconsciously, it makes him feel more like a man.

You don’t have to pretend to be dumb or weak, nor do you have to behave like the “weaker” sex just to attract a man. *How the hell did femininity even get associated with the “weaker” tag in the first place?* [Read: All the things you should never do if you want to be attractive to men]

All you need to do is revel in your femininity and display your feminine side, and give the man you like a chance to bask in his manliness and show off his masculinity!

[Read: How to get a boyfriend – A no-nonsense guide to find that perfect guy for you!]

Understanding how to attract men is really simple. Enjoy your femininity and let the world see it. The men will come, yes, they’ll come in droves!