31 Secrets to Get a Blowjob, Why Girls Refuse & How to Ensure She Enjoys It

Most guys love sex, and that includes getting blowjobs. But if you don’t know how to get your girl to do it, here are some tips for how to get a blowjob.

Anyone who has spent time around guys knows that all guys love a good blowjob. It’s the cherry on top of sex, something that makes them feel on top of the world.

Another thing you’ve probably learned, however, is that they have no idea how to make it happen. They think that by whipping out their man piece, the girl will just magically want to put it in her mouth. 

Well, guys, it just doesn’t work like that. If you’re wondering how to get a good blowjob, we’ve got the perfect tips and tricks for you to get one and make sure she enjoys giving it to you. [Read: What do women really think of your penis and what kind do they prefer?]

Why do some girls refuse to give blowjobs?

The basic answer to why a girl might refuse a blowjob is that she doesn’t want to, and that’s good enough. However, there may be an underlying reason, and it could mean a multitude of things. 

Let’s look at some of the reasons why a girl might refuse to give a blowjob.

1. Intimacy

Virginity means different things to everyone. To some, oral sex is just as intimate as losing their virginity to penetrative sex.

Oral sex may even be considered more intimate to some. So for this reason, a woman might be put off by the idea of giving you a blowjob. [Read: How to have safe sex in every single way it is possible to]

2. Hygiene

A penis is something men use to pee with, everyone is aware of that. A woman might be hesitant about giving a blowjob because of possible urine contamination.

Sometimes, a woman just won’t do it because she is worried about a guy’s approach to hygiene. It might smell bad or even taste bad. If it were the other way around, any man would agree. [Read: The types of penis women love… or laugh at!]

3. Power play 

If you are with a narcissist or in a toxic relationship, your partner may be holding off giving you a blowjob as a power play tactic.

This is a mind game where she may use a blowjob against you to get something that she wants. It is a sad fact, but some women do use it as something to hold over a man’s head.

4. Intimidation 

Listen, a man’s package can be intimidating for some, especially when they are faced with a penis for the first time.

Sometimes, a girl doesn’t know what to do with it, and she will be too afraid to try. [Read: Sex for the first time – 37 must-knows & secrets about losing your virginity]

5. It’s painful

The mouth and throat are not as versatile as the vagina. Penises can be a pain for some women and they will refuse to put them in their mouths. It can hurt and even cause a woman to gag.

Some women have a very sensitive gag reflex, and it could simply be that she’s worried about being sick during the act. So if a woman thinks she can’t handle a penis that’s too big, she will give up on it altogether.

6. She doesn’t like how it looks

Women look at a penis the way men look at breasts. If it does not appeal to her, she will not want to put it in her mouth. 

Therefore if she does not like the way it looks, she may get turned off by the idea of giving you a blowjob. [Read: The perfect cock – a woman’s opinion on how your penis measures up in her mouth]

7. She had a bad experience before

It’s possible that she gave a blowjob in the past and it didn’t go according to plan. Maybe something happened that caused her to have a bad memory attached to the act. 

Some guys can be pretty inconsiderate and when they get carried away in the moment, they don’t think about the girl who’s doing all the work.

So she might have bad memories associated with the act and not feel comfortable doing it again. [Read: Do women like to swallow? And 20 other sex questions answered]

8. She really doesn’t like blowjobs at all

Everyone is entitled to their own sexual preference. Some kinks turn you on, and a lot of others likely turn you off. This is the same for everyone when it comes to sexual kinks, positions, and acts.

Perhaps the lady in your life really doesn’t like giving blowjobs and she’s simply vowed not to put herself through it again. It just doesn’t turn her on and that’s completely valid.

9. She’s worried you won’t like it

If she’s never given a blowjob before or had a bad experience in the past, she may refuse because she’s worried you won’t enjoy it. She may become self-conscious about her performance and too nervous to try.

10. It’s because you don’t go down on her 

Relationships are about give and take, and so is sex. If you’re asking for blowjobs but you never go down on her, can you blame her for refusing? 

Perhaps you should think about what you do for her and then maybe she’ll reconsider what she does for you. [Read: How to eat a girl out – 16 secrets to make her gasp and squirt]

11. You’re being an ass

If you are not treating her right and dare to ask for a blowjob, this feature won’t do you much good. You need to change your perception of sexual intimacy.

A blowjob is still as intimate as sex itself. It is a gift that should be given to someone who deserves it – a man who knows how to give when it comes to all aspects of a relationship.

What to do if she refuses to give a blowjob

A lot of women do not want to give their partners a blowjob. Regardless of her reasoning, she shouldn’t be shamed for her decision to not go down on you.

She has the right to her own body and her decision should be respected by any man who wants to be with her.

So when a woman refuses to give you a blow job, accept the situation. If it bothers you so much, then discuss it with your partner.

Open and clear communication can help you understand your partner’s stance on blowjobs better. So sit down with her and talk it through.

Be empathetic and understanding, and you might be able to come up with solutions to liven up your sex life that leaves you both satisfied.

There is the chance that she is stern on her reasons to not give a blowjob and will not compromise. In this case, you will need to respect her boundaries and move on.

If you can’t seem to move on, consider finding someone else who shares the same sex priorities as you do. [Read: Being sex positive – why this matters and why you need to get on board]

How to get a blowjob and get a girl to enjoy giving it

All of that being said, there is still a chance to get a blowjob from the woman in your life if you’re having no luck. To do so, you’ll need to be able to communicate honestly and approach the topic in the right way.

That means you need to know what to do or say to make it happen. If you have horrible luck getting your girl to go down on you, these are some tips to help.

1. Talk to her

This is as straightforward as you can get. If you think your girl isn’t giving you head *or enough head*, talk to her about it. [Read: How to talk about sex with your girlfriend without sounding like a pervert]

Clear, honest communication is crucial during sex. Be sure to approach the subject in a non-threatening, non-accusing way. You can assure her that whatever she has to say will be met with understanding, respect, and will not change how you see her.

2. Be well-behaved

This isn’t just in the bedroom. You have to behave outside of the bedroom in the relationship as a whole if you want your girl to give you a good blowjob… if any at all.

You see, for women, sex isn’t just about the physical part. They would probably be more likely to give a blowjob to a guy who isn’t as attractive but treats them right.

Take her out to a nice dinner, let her pick the movie, and just be a sweet person in general. Put down the video games, and get your nose out of your phone.

Ask her how her day was and actually listen to her. Girls love that. And when you do that, then she’ll be more willing to do something nice for you.

So be a great boyfriend/husband/friend with benefits. Whatever it is you two have going on, be good. [Read: The perfect boyfriend material – 33 traits that make you the best ever in a girl’s eyes]

3. Keeping it clean

If you aren’t getting able to get your girl to give you head and enjoy it, your hygiene could be an issue. It’s no secret that privates, despite being hidden from the outside world, are among the dirtiest parts of the body. 

And while there are women that don’t mind or even like the sweaty, salty, and often combined with hints-of-urine taste in their mouths, there are also those who upchuck at the very thought of it.

The solution is to take a shower or a bath together during foreplay. [Read: The wildest tips to enjoy foreplay and have sex in the shower!]

4. Manage your pubic hair

Some women like a man’s bush, while others find the thought of hair on their tongue and sticking between their teeth revolting. 

If you want to get a girl to give you head but you’re not sure about your lady’s preferences – ask her or try both ways *clean-shaven or neat-and-groomed* and observe which one she reacts to better. [Read: How to shave your pubic hair the right way and avoid any accidents]

But for starters, if you want your girl to give you a blowjob that’ll leave her happy, trim it really short all over *yes, over those balls too* or just shave it all off. It’s the safest way to start. And chances are, she’ll tell you if she prefers a bit of hair if she really does!

5. Tell her how amazing it was the last time she gave you one

If your girlfriend was a trooper and has given you one before, the best way to encourage her to do it again is by talking about how amazing and fantastic it was. 

By telling her how good she was at it, you’ll help boost her confidence. And, she’ll want to make you see her in that light again so she’ll most likely go down on you another time.

6. Give her a head start

Or in this case – a hard start! Welcoming her mouth with a standing ovation will let her know how sexy and desired she is.

You’d be surprised how many women are not sure they can get their men hard all by themselves, and that number only grows when it comes to bringing them to ejaculate. 

Seeing you *almost* erect is like half the job is already done, which means the rest can’t be that difficult. [Read: The right way to talk really dirty to a girl without turning her off!]

7. Show her it can be a good time

Make her realize that blowjobs could be fun for her too. Get in a position where you can stimulate her at the same time. There are many sex positions that can pleasure both of you at the same time.

You can even incorporate it into a sexual game. If she does something that feels great on you, show her just how great it is by making her feel the same. It’s mutual masturbation at its best, and your girl will enjoy giving you head as much as she’s receiving oral from you!

8. Be gentle with her

When she’s actually down on you, don’t be really rough – especially if she doesn’t seem thrilled about it. Be gentle with her and be patient. If she feels like you actually value the blowjob, she’ll be more likely to do it. 

Not all women like rough sex. And when she is giving you a blowjob, she is in a very vulnerable position down there. [Read: How to satisfy a woman in bed and make sex exciting for her]

This goes for dirty talk as well. Not everyone enjoys dirty talk. She might be too embarrassed to tell you that it turns her off.

So, it’s your job to pay attention and change the words you use. Use encouraging and praise words instead of degrading words.

9. Start small

If your girl is not up to giving you a BJ right off the bat, play it smart and include oral sex in your foreplay. Don’t wait for her to finish you off, instead, after a short while, switch again or move on to intercourse.

Knowing that sucking you off is not necessarily the only way for you to orgasm eliminates a lot of the pressure and makes her feel more confident and in control. 

She will be more comfortable with having your penis in her mouth and will also be more open to experiments. [Read: 18 sex tips for men to leave your woman craving for more all the time!]

10. Try role-playing

It’s amazing what a little role-playing can do for your sex life. So many of the borders we wouldn’t normally cross seem to erase themselves the minute we get into someone else’s skin. [Read: The complete sexual role play guide for beginners]

11. Help her improve

And by help, we don’t mean giving her a long boring lecture on how this-and-that must change. We mean dropping her small hints while she’s at it, or doing something you really like. 

If you want to know how to get a girl to give you head and look forward to it, do this right and the simple realization of how much your pleasure can increase by changing her technique will no doubt make her a star student.

12. Give a warning when finish

This may or may not shock you, but not all girls like to swallow. Let’s face it – it doesn’t really taste very good. Sure, some might like it. But a lot of them don’t.

So, don’t be mad at her if she doesn’t want you to finish in her mouth. Give her a big warning so she can pull off.

If she doesn’t like it when you come in her mouth, then don’t come in her mouth. Don’t try to sneak one in! A – it’s infantile, B – she won’t forgive you for it.

13. Change your taste

Bad-tasting cum is a huge turnoff and may also be one of the big reasons why your girl doesn’t want to give you head. H-U-G-E! If a girl lets you come in her mouth, it’s your job to make sure your sperm does not taste like sewage water!

What’s been known to give semen a funky flavor? Too much protein – meat and dairy, alcohol, coffee, broccoli, nuts and seeds, greasy and deep-fried foods, beans, onion, garlic, cigarettes, and the absolute champion – asparagus.

How to fix this? The fastest way is pineapple, lots and lots of pineapple and pineapple juice. Also, drink a lot of water, and eat melons, apples, celery, cinnamon, and fresh fruit. There are also sperm taste supplements available on the market if you want to go that way! [Read: What does cum taste like? The honest truth from women’s mouths and science]

14. Spare her the embarrassment if things go south

If you start to lose your erection when she’s giving you a blowjob, take action and change the plan completely. 

Switch positions, go down on her, have penetrative sex, do whatever it takes to stay in the game, and most importantly – do not let her know she’s dropped the ball.

Think of it this way, how do you feel when you can’t get an erection? Believe us when we say this, it’ll be worse for her if you lose it when a girl is giving you head. Not only that, she may not want to try it again out of fear of reliving the same failure.

15. Say “thank you”

A little gratitude goes a long way. She’ll be more likely to repeat the good deed if she knows she’s appreciated for it.

Of course, it doesn’t have to be all magnanimous or meek, it doesn’t even have to be verbal, you just need to show her that what she does for you is not taken for granted.

How NOT to get a blowjob from a girl

Even though we just gave you a whole list of ways to actually get a blowjob, we know a few of you will try your other methods, and we would advise that you not do that. 

Here are a few ways to ruin your chances of ever getting head again.

1. Push her head down there silently

This is the WORST way of trying to get a blowjob! [Read: The head pusher – why some selfish guys do this and how women handle these men]

If you push her head down, it says that you are selfish and practically degrading her. She has to give you a blowjob of her own free will. So, when you push her head down you, it’s borderline assault. Especially if she resists. This is a big no-no.

2. Expect it

If you remember nothing else about how to get a blowjob, remember this one. Never expect that she’s going to do it. Again, this all goes back to your selfish attitude. 

Being selfish is never an attractive thing. You need to be humble and grateful if she decides to give you a blowjob. When you drop your pants and stand there with your hands on your hips waiting, she’ll be annoyed.

3. Ask her why she never does

Don’t just sit there badgering her about why she won’t give you a blowjob. 

Maybe she has her own reasons for disliking it. Maybe her gag reflex is horrific and she can barely even brush her teeth without an issue. 

And maybe she is just grossed out by it. Everyone has their preferences. You only push her away more when you won’t accept that she doesn’t want to give you one. [Read: How to get rid of that sense of entitlement that’s ruining your life]

4. Talk about an ex who “always did”

If you want to not get a blowjob AND end up single, this is how to do it. No girl ever wants to hear about past girls you’ve hooked up with, ESPECIALLY if they did something you liked *and she isn’t*.

Comparing her to other girlfriends is just quite mean. So, remember, even if you’re thinking it, don’t say it. This will make her furious if you do.

5. Ignore her and move on

Yes, guys love blowjobs. And they might just want to get it and then move on to playing video games. But you can’t expect a woman to be your sex slave. 

You can’t have her perform on demand without paying some attention to her. So, when you want a blowjob, you better be sure to pay her some attention and reciprocate, even if you don’t want to!

[Read: How to make love to a woman – 21 secrets to leave her moaning for more in bed]

Ultimately, girls make their own decisions, and if she really doesn’t want to go down on you, that’s up to her. But if you’re sly enough and nice enough, use these techniques for how to get a blowjob, and chances are, she’ll be more than happy to blow you.