Cuckold Humiliation: What It Is, the Psychology & 34 Ways to Bring It to Bed

For most people, if their partner cheated on them, they would be devastated. But for others, they like cuckold humiliation. Read on to learn more.

Cuckold humiliation is a weird concept for most people. From childhood, we’re taught that you’re supposed to be with one person and one person only. 

And your partner will grow old with you and only you. But for some people, that isn’t in the cards. At one point, they may have wanted that, now, they’re into something called cuckold humiliation.

What is cuckold humiliation exactly?

A person who’s a cuckold is someone who receives pleasure from their partner consensually cheating on them.

[Read: How to ease your partner into a soft swap experience]

Psychology behind cuckold humiliation

You might wonder why cuckold humiliation is a turn-on for some people. Because for most, being cheated on by their partner is one of their worst nightmares.

Cuckold humiliation is a type of fetish, and there isn’t necessarily one cause. In fact, there are different theories about why some people like it.

For example, some experts say it’s rooted in evolutionary biology. They believe that it triggers something inherent in our nature as humans. [Read: What makes someone a player? The 21 sly signs of a player’s mind]

Cuckold induces sexual competition among men. Males have biological urges to procreate and impregnate women to pass on their genes. But they have to “compete” with other men in order to be the “winner” and get to have sex with her.

When we first meet the people who will become our significant other, they are initially “unattainable,” and present a challenge in order to get them.

That’s what’s called the “chase” during the dating phase, and a lot of men thrive on that because they want to win the “prize” *the woman*. [Read: Why do men like a chase? How to use it in your favor]

But as a relationship grows, we settle down and get comfortable with our partners. Men stop being the hunter, and women stop being the hunted. And believe it or not, cuckoldry can re-activate the hunter mentality in a man.

This causes the man to want their partner again, but with all the intense feelings of risk and possible denial. And if you add the knowledge of the fact that their partner is sexually strayed from their relationship, they can still feel secure knowing that their partner still belongs to them.

It’s kind of like a “have your cake and eat it too” mentality. [Read: Sexual compatibility – all the signs to tell if you’re both hot in bed or incompatible]

Other explanations of the psychology behind cuckold humiliation include the fact that some people like turning emotional pain into pleasure.

Now, most people don’t understand this because they see pleasure and pain as two very different experiences. But for some people, it could be a way to protect them from their emotions or escape bad feelings about themselves.

It could also be a way to overcome these fears and feelings and affirm their self-worth. Or perhaps it’s a “fantasy revenge” by recreating the pain and hurtful fears that exist inside themselves so they can overcome them.

Regardless, it all could come down to the fact that this fetish, just like all fetishes, turns deep-rooted pain into sexual pleasure. And in the cuckold fetish, it’s all about the pain of inadequacy. [Read: Unbelievable sex – 20 sexual fetishes bordering on crazy]

Who should and shouldn’t engage in cuckold humiliation?

Any sexual contact always carries physical risks like STIs or pregnancy. So, if someone already has an STI, then they shouldn’t engage in cuckold humiliation. Also, if the woman isn’t on birth control, then it’s not wise for her to do it either.

There are emotional risks too. Even if you think that cuckold humiliation is a great idea at first, your feelings can change at any time. 

One person might decide that they want it to stop, and the cuck might experience more jealousy than they thought they would. Or, one or both of the people having sex could become emotionally attached to one another. [Read: Signs of emotional infidelity that can lead you to a real affair]

Finally, if the people involved aren’t good at communicating and being honest, then they shouldn’t engage in it either. It’s important to be completely honest with everyone involved at all times.

So, you have to do some introspection if you want to engage in cuckold humiliation. If you’re not capable of that, then you’re not a good candidate either.

The “how-to” for cuckold humiliation

Now, is it really cheating if their partner knows and supports it? We could argue that it’s not technically cheating. A cuckold gets off on knowing their partner is attracted to someone else or aroused through feelings of humiliation. [Read: BDSM tips and tricks for curious first-timers]

Now, a cuckold may or may not decide to take their fantasy into the real world and agree to have their partner sleep with other people outside of their relationships. So, since you’re here, you’re probably a little curious about how this all works. 

1. It doesn’t always involve humiliation

Now, if you’re interested in cuckolding but not turned on by humiliation, the good thing is, you can have one without the other. 

Enjoy cuckolding without humiliation or just an ounce of it thrown in. Explore your levels of comfort with humiliation as it’s different for everyone. [Read: How to have a threesome – 57 tips, signs, rules, and the best positions]

2. It works off of jealousy

Cuckold humiliation works off human jealousy. Let’s set things straight, we all experience jealousy regardless of our sexual preferences.

Jealousy, for some people, makes them aroused. It makes your partner seem more attractive now that someone else eyes them. This is where cuckolding comes in.

3. There are different ways to be humiliated

Now, for your partner, they’re aroused by different levels of humiliation. This humiliation stems from helping you pick an outfit for the date or that this other person is better in bed, more attractive, etc. [Read: How to fantasize and talk about someone else with your partner]

Remember to ask your partner what their dream scenario would be and what humiliation means to them. Get them to start thinking about it.

4. Talk about everything

You should talk about every single aspect of cuckold humiliation as you don’t want your partner to experience any miscommunication. 

Ask them what would make them comfortable, where the boundaries are, what types of humiliation they like, and pick a safe word. These questions must be answered before you move a step further. [Read: Handkerchief code – how to communicate sexual desires with a hanky]

5. Explore humiliation together

Before bringing in another person, you must explore humiliation together. You need to experiment with the ways to shame him, what he’s comfortable with, and what’s off-limits. 

And the only way to figure it out is to try it out. There are a variety of domination and submission games for you to play with him.

6. Finding a partner

Now, you need a partner if this is going to work. Handily, the internet is your most valuable asset. Of course, asking someone off the street isn’t going to be as successful as the world wide web. [Read: Ways to be the naughtiest dominatrix in bed]

You can place an ad on Craigslist or OKCupid or go more niche and look at sites such as AdultFriendFinder or CuckoldFinder. These sites allow you to create a personalized ad, going into details about exactly what you look for.

7. Don’t cheat

This sounds weird, but whatever you do, don’t cheat. In other words, do not sleep with someone that you and your partner have not agreed on. 

If you do actually cheat, this breaks the trust between you and your partner. Cuckolding isn’t an excuse to sleep with other people that your partner doesn’t approve of. [Read: Does your wife want to sleep with another man?]

8. Need help? 

If you need some inspiration, the best thing is to ask other couples who do this or turn to porn. The porn industry has a healthy cuckolding genre for you to watch, study, and take notes on.

You’ll be able to incorporate what you saw into your own personal experience. You see some examples of humiliation such as the husband holding his wife’s hand as she has sex with another man.

9. The cuckold may not be included in any sexual activities

In some cases, the cuckold may not be included in any sexual activities at all while his partner is having sex with another man. [Read: How to fantasize about someone else and not feel guilty]

Instead, the cuckold may simply masturbate while his partner has sex or watch. This depends on the rules that were established prior.

10. Fem cuckold

A “fem cuck” means the cuckold has feminine tendencies. They allow their partner to use a dildo on them or forced feminization such as wearing female underwear, make-up, etc. 

This means the humiliation takes forms through sex toys, domination, etc. [Read: How to talk dirty in bed and discuss a cuckold fantasy]

11. Talk about the sex after

If you had a sexual experience with your cuckold, after the sex, you discuss how it went with your partner. Talk about what could be better, what you liked or didn’t like, etc. 

Make sure they voice their opinion as they’re the cuckold. At the end of the day, the most important thing is the relationship between you and your partner.

Mild cuckold humiliation ideas

If you and your partner want to engage in cuckold humiliation but don’t know where to start, here are some mild ideas to get you started. [Read: “Facts” you think you know about BDSM debunked!]

1. Go lingerie shopping for your lover

Bring your husband along while you buy lingerie for another man. Try them on for him and have him comment on how much he likes them. Remind him that it’s not for his eyes, but for your lover’s.

2. Flirt openly while your husband watches

When you are out in public, strike up conversations with other men. Leave your husband where he is and chat it up with others. Laugh, touch, and show body language that you are into and flirting with the other man.

3. Tell your husband his cock isn’t big enough

We all know that a lot of men are insecure about the size of their package. So, since that’s a sensitive topic, then tell him that his isn’t big enough for you. But just remember to keep the harshness to a level he can handle.

4. Tease and denial with verbal humiliation

Tease and denial are all about a constant state of arousal without orgasm. Bring him to the edge of orgasm and then stop short of it.

Then keep doing it over and over. While you do it, you can verbally abuse him to enhance the experience. [Read: Tease and denial games – what it is, types, and how to play with your lover]

5. Fuck in the backseat of a car while your cuckold drives

This one is pretty self-explanatory. Get your lover in the backseat of a car and start going at it while your cuckold is in the front driving the car. He can watch in the rearview mirror if he wants.

6. Deny your cuckold the pleasure of watching

One of the pleasures of cuckold humiliation is watching his lover screw another man. So, if that’s the case for your husband, then deny him the pleasure of watching. Tease him with it, but refuse to let him participate and be a voyeur.

7. Make your husband sleep in the guest room while your lover is in the master bedroom

The master bedroom is usually reserved for the husband and wife of a household.

But if you want to humiliate your husband, then you can have him sleep in the guest room while your lover is in your bed. That gives your husband less power than your lover. [Read: Feet fetish – what it is, 42 signs, causes, and ways to explore sexualizing feet]

8. Wear your bridal lingerie for your lover

If you had some special lingerie for your husband on your wedding night, then get it out and use it again. But don’t use it for him – use it for your lover. Tell your husband that you are going to do it and that he’s not the only man who gets to enjoy it.

9. Take control of your cuckold’s orgasms

This strategy is similar to the tease and denial one. Instead of letting your husband decide when it’s time to orgasm, you take control of it instead. Tell him that you when you are going to let him cum – or not.

10. Dress up slutty for your lover

Most men love it when a woman looks slutty for them. But when you do it for your lover and not your husband, that is a form of humiliation too.

Show him what you are going to wear but don’t let him see it on you. [Read: How to dress sexy – 29 subtle and classy ways to make them lust for you]

11. Subtly remind your cuckold how good your lover is

Men like to pride themselves on being good lovers. So, if you subtly tell your husband how good your lover is in bed, then that will make him feel bad about himself. But again, be careful with this one too because you don’t want to go too far.

12. Tell your cuckold how badly you want to be with your lover

Since part of the fascination with cuckold humiliation is the fact that their partner is having sex with someone else, you can tell him how much you want your lover. This will get across the point that you are thinking of someone else.

13. Make him admit that you deserve to fuck someone else

Whether or not you actually enjoy having sex with your partner, you can try to make him think that you don’t. Try to get him to talk to you about screwing someone else and then make him admit that you deserve it. [Read: Everything you need to know about an open relationship]

14. Make him beg to be cuckolded

Part of the humiliation process is begging. When you beg someone for something, that means they have power over you. So, you can make him beg for him to be cuckolded before you do it.

15. Spank your cuckold

While cuckolding is part of the S&M sexual practices, it can be a more mild form. And spanking your partner is also a part of humiliation. It, again shows that you have power over him and can take control.

16. Make your cuckold pay for your dates with your lover

Cuckold humiliation doesn’t just have to be about sex with your lover. You can also go out on dates with them too as a more mild form of humiliation.

And when you do, you can make your partner hand over the money to pay for them. [Read: Three-way relationship – how it works, and why it isn’t an open invite]

17. Go shopping with your lover and have your cuckold act as your valet

If you like to go shopping, then you can spend the day with your lover in the mall. But, don’t go just by yourselves. Instead, you can have your partner drive you there, acting as your taxi driver and valet.

18. Make your husband thank your cuckold for fucking you

Most husbands would be very angry if they knew that their wife was having sex with another man. But in cuckold humiliation, it’s the opposite. So, you can make your husband thank your lover for screwing you.

19. Make your husband beg your lover to fuck you

Not only can you have your husband thank your lover, but you can also have him beg the lover to have sex with you.

Again, begging puts someone in the submissive position, which is what he really wants anyway. [Read: The craziest kinky sex stories from Reddit to make you go “Oh!”]

20. Make your husband do errands for your lover

You can have your husband act as your lover’s “slave” by doing things for him like running errands. This puts your lover in a power position because he can boss around your husband and make him do anything.

Aftercare of cuckold humiliation

Humans can only take so much humiliation before they emotionally break. So, while he might like it when you cuckold him, he still needs to be built back up by you too. This should come in the form of aftercare, and here are some things you should do.

1. Tell your partner you love them

Everyone deserves to be loved. And yes, cuckold humiliation doesn’t seem like an expression of love – that’s because it really isn’t.

So, you need to tell him that you love him. Reassure him that you did the humiliation because he wanted you to. You agreed because you love him. [Read: Adorable ways to say “I love you” to someone special]

2. Show them physical affection

Part of making your partner feel loved is by showing them physical affection. This includes hugging, cuddling, holding hands, and other forms of physical intimacy including sex. Just because they like to be humiliated doesn’t mean that they don’t like affection too.

3. Compliment the things he does well

Compliments are part of building back up his self-esteem after the cuckold humiliation. So, you should tell your partner what you love about him and what he does well. Express your appreciation for him and encourage him in positive, healthy ways.

[Read: Everything you need to know about the cuckold fantasy fetish]

Now that you know everything you need to know about cuckold humiliation, you’ll see if it’s the right thing for you and your partner.