Daddy Kink: What It Is, How It Works & What You Need in a Daddy-Dom

We all have different fantasies. Do you have a daddy kink? Find out if you are and everything there is to know before you dive into the daddy-dom world!

When it comes to kinks, people misunderstand the daddy kink. People assume if you’re looking for a “daddy,” you have personal issues with your father and that you’re looking for a father-type figure in your intimate relationship.

The truth is, people have kinks for all different kinds of reasons, not necessarily related to their real parental relationship. Different things turn different people on.

For some, the idea of calling someone “daddy” and being submissive is totally tasteless. Yet, for someone else, it’s the pinnacle of sexual excitement.

At the end of the day, as long as everyone is consenting, having fun, and nobody’s getting hurt, there’s no problem with enjoying a daddy kink. If that’s what floats your boat, you go for it!

[Read: Arousing sex fantasies to try in real life]

What is daddy kink exactly?

You might be reading this and have no clue what daddy kink actually is. Don’t worry—there are so many terms floating around these days that it’s hard to keep up with what they mean!

Daddy kink is a sexual fetish. It is when someone enjoys being dominated by someone older than they are, who they call “daddy.” Again, this has nothing to do with their relationship with their father! This is purely separate.

The “daddy” can be a father to someone, or they can be without children. It’s got nothing to do with fertility and everything to do with role-play.

Let’s get a couple of things out of the way about what a daddy-dom really is: A daddy-dom is firstly a dominant. The “daddy” is a subcategory he chooses to live his life as within the dominance/submissive kink. [Read: How to be a dominant in bed – steps to take control and lead]

Now, there’s one major thing that we need to clear up: A daddy-dom isn’t someone interested in incest or pedophilia. It’s not very often you’ll find a daddy-dom who calls his submissive “daughter.” For many, that’s crossing a red line.

Rather, a daddy-dom is someone who likes to be called “Daddy,” while his submissive is called “girl” or “little girl.” [Read: Couples kink list- 52 freaky and weird sexual fetishes many people indulge in]

Where do daddy kinks come from?

We’ve already said that daddy kinks don’t have any correlation to actual father-child relationships, but do daddy kinks come from something else?

Well, no! It’s just a sexual preference! Some people like being in control, some like being controlled, and some like having sex on a level playing field. [Read: How to be kinky – 42 steamy tips to explore sex outside of normal]

There’s no origin story behind a daddy kink. It’s just part of who you are and what you enjoy. So don’t let anyone shame you for having a daddy kink.

Signs you might have a daddy kink

Well, the fact that you’re here reading this feature should be a sign in and of itself that you might have a daddy kink. But, if you’re still not convinced, here are some other signs that you might have a daddy kink.

See how many of these you agree with!

1. An attraction to older men

Your friends are ogling the hot baby-faced guys at the bar, but you can’t keep your eyes off the salt-and-pepper fox sipping his whiskey at the back of the room. [Read: How to approach a guy you’re interested in and remain calm]

And if you look back, you realize that it’s always been like this. You’ve always been the odd one out, finding yourself attracted to guys that your friends just can’t understand.

“He looks old enough to be my dad!” Yeah, that’s the point!

2. An affinity for being dominated

If you think back on it, your best sexual experiences have been when your partner has taken control. There’s just something about a man’s deep voice in your ear telling you what to do that just gets you going.

If so, you might want to try and take the domination/submission further. You might not have unlocked your true potential yet! [Read: 20 sexy things guys like in bed but won’t ask for and why they don’t]

3. The idea of being called a “little girl/boy” turns you on

If you like to be called a “little girl/boy” or you think you would like it, then that’s no coincidence. You want to be a little girl/boy to a daddy-dom. So why not try it?

What to look for in your daddy

Once you get past the rumors and misconceptions, you’ll see it’s basically a dominant/submissive relationship between two consenting adults. So, what should you look for in a daddy-dom?

1. He has sexual experience

Now, you can always have a daddy who doesn’t have any sexual experience within his specific kink. But, usually, if you’re new to this, it’s best to be with someone who has this kink experience.

That way, you can learn the rules of this kink properly. A skilled dominant is always a good option. [Read: Sexual role-play – how to try it and the 35 best role-play ideas for couples]

2. You’re sexually compatible

Having a daddy is great, but you need to also make sure you’re sexually compatible. He may check off everything from your list, but if there’s no chemistry in the bedroom, then it just won’t work.

Make sure you’re both on the same page with your sexual interests and needs. [Read: Sexual compatibility – 47 signs to tell if you’re incompatible and ways to fix it]

3. He has life experience

Whether it’s a daddy-boy or daddy-girl relationship, they’ve been around for ages. Ideally, you want your daddy to have some life experience. Regardless if you’re in a gay, lesbian, or straight daddy-girl/boy relationship, your dominant will be able to share their experiences with you and help guide you through life.

4. You have great conversations together

Yes, your daddy-dom is someone who’s going to protect you and guide you through life, but he’s also someone you can talk to. And it’s not as though the conversation is forced.

You can stay on the phone for hours or sit together on the couch discussing world events. Even though you’re exploring a daddy kink together, there’s more than just a sexual element to this unique relationship. [Read: 42 secrets to communicate better in a relationship & ways to fix a lack of it]

5. He takes care of you

We don’t mean he pays your bills and buys you expensive clothing. Of course, if he also does that, that’s also fine. But a daddy-dom should be someone who cares about your well-being. He makes sure you’re okay and is naturally a caretaker. He wants to make sure you’re safe.

6. He’s emotionally mature

You’re looking for a daddy, not someone who throws a tantrum when the barista at Starbucks spells his name wrong on his to-go cup.

When looking for a daddy, see what his experience has been like with other girls/boys and just talk to him. Get a sense of his emotional maturity and see if it’s at a level you need it to be. [Read: What age does a man emotionally mature? The 19 signs of maturity in a guy]

7. He’s a reliable person

You want a daddy-dom who’s going to be there for you when he says he’s going to. A daddy-dom is someone who will address your needs and be a rock in your life. If you need something, he’ll be there for you. 

8. You see each other as friends

Being in a daddy-girl/boy relationship is more than just having someone protect and care for you. This is someone you see yourself being friends with and vice versa.

On the one hand, you two can be kinky together in the bedroom. And on the other hand, you can share your personal life with him and have his guidance and support. [Read: How to be a good friend – 49 traits and friend codes that define a real pal]

9. You feel safe

When you’re around him, you’re not thinking about whether or not he’s going to screw you over. In his presence, you feel safe and secure. A daddy-dom should be someone you see as providing you the safe space you need.  

10. He encourages and motivates you

Sometimes, we get tired and want to give up. It happens to the best of us, life isn’t a walk in the park. Your daddy-dom should encourage you to keep going and be your support when times are rough.

11. He has his life together

A daddy-dom isn’t someone who doesn’t know how to hold down a job longer than a week and lives in his parent’s house.

No, a daddy-dom is an independent person who has, generally, a stable life. He’s grounded, and he knows who he is and what he wants. [Read: The 41 best qualities of a good man that sets him apart from lesser men]

12. He doesn’t overdo it

Sometimes, daddy-doms get a little too invested in their role and overdo it. It’s never healthy to overplay any role in the kink community, including the daddy-dom. You do not want to form a codependent relationship with your daddy. If you’re noticing it’s becoming a bit much, talk about it with him.

13. You can communicate openly

This is so important in any relationship but in a situation such as this, being able to talk openly is vital. You need to be able to tell him when you don’t like something, when you do like something, and when you’re concerned about something. [Read: Sugar baby – what it is and 69 tips to be a good one and get a rich sugar daddy]

How can you tell if daddy kink is really for you?

It’s possible that even though you’ve just read through all this information about daddy kink, you’re still not sure if this is something for you.

The truth is that nobody is ever 100% sure if they’re going to enjoy something.

What you need to have is an interest, a desire, and a strong willingness to give it a go. If you’ve always been curious about the daddy kink world, there’s no harm in giving it a try.

Nobody can tell you whether daddy kink is for you or not, and it’s a decision you have to make for yourself. [Read: Tips to help you open up about your kinky side]

Perhaps explore submissive and dominant relationships in a bit more detail first.

Maybe try a sub/dom arrangement for yourself but without the daddy element. If you enjoy that and you’re still curious about finding a daddy-dom, then it’s a natural next step for you to work towards.

You can never allow anyone to tell you that a sexual kink you want to try is wrong. As long as both parties are consenting and enjoying their time together, there is nothing wrong with it. Open your mind and explore a little more if you really feel that daddy kink is a sexual fantasy you’ve always wanted to try.

[Read: Master-slave relationship – 23 rules, how it works, and ideas to play your part]

If you’re interested in daddy kink, it can be a great experience. But first, make sure you find the right daddy for you.