28 Signs He Wants to Break Up But is Just Too Afraid to Say So

Your gut is telling you that something is wrong with your relationship, and you don’t know how he feels anymore. Here are the signs he wants to break up.

Confrontation isn’t everyone’s forte. Some people would rather stew in debilitating unsaid words than speak up and do something about it. Your man might be one of them if he’s unhappy with the relationship. The only way to figure it out before he says something is to watch for the signs he wants to break up.

And this might be rather easy. Guys aren’t that great at hiding their true intent. When it comes to something this drastic, it’ll be written all over their faces and in their actions. You just have to know how to read it. [Read: How to know if you should break up – 22 signs that can guide you]

If you’re unhappy in the relationship, he probably is too

It’s very rare that one person is completely oblivious when the other is having issues in the relationship. And since you’re here, you’re probably under the impression your man might be thinking about leaving you.

But think about your own happiness. How do you feel about the relationship? If you’re not having fun anymore, your man has noticed. 

They might not be able to pick up on as many things as girls, but they can at least tell that much. And if they know, they might be feeling insecure about things, too. [Read: How to know if your guy thinks he’s losing you already]

The subtle signs he wants to break up but won’t cough up the words

Being worried about your relationship is normal when you sense something is off. Here’s how you can figure out if that something is your man’s feelings for you. These signs point toward the signs he wants to break up, and the demise of your relationship.

1. Things have been rocky

Your relationship has been iffy for a while now. Knowing this, it’s only realistic to assume one of you isn’t happy and is thinking about calling it quits.

Some relationships go through tough times and find a way out, sure. But if your man is showing a lot of these signs along with your relationship being on the rocks, he could want to end things. [Read: How to deal with arguments in a relationship]

2. He’s spending more and more time away

If your man is thinking about leaving, he doesn’t want to be around you. He’ll often work late or go spend time with his friends a lot more than he used to. If he’s avoiding being alone with you, that’s one of the signs he wants to break up with you or is at least considering it.

3. His affection toward you has dwindled

He really doesn’t do anything nice or even say anything nice to you. This will be super obvious because you can just think back to the last cute thing he said to you. If you really can’t think of anything, he’s probably unhappy and thinking about breaking up. [Read: 16 signs he doesn’t like you anymore and is losing interest]

4. You don’t talk anymore

And this isn’t in reference to your, “how was your day?” We’re saying you don’t talk about other stuff anymore. Those deep conversations are gone. 

The ones where you sit and talk for hours without looking at your phone or having anything on the TV. When those disappear, the relationship is in trouble. [Read: 25 topics to talk about in a happy relationship]

5. No sexual intimacy

 Sex is a major part of a relationship. And sure, you could just be in a sex rut. But if you try to get things going and he’s really not into it, then something is definitely wrong.

Refusal to have sex or an absence of initiation on his end are major signs he wants to break up.

6. He’s hardly ever in a good mood around you

It’s not that he’s just cranky in general, but it’s around you. He could come home happy and playful but when you try to engage with him, he shuts down and is suddenly upset about seemingly nothing. Well, that seemingly nothing is probably just you.

7. He’s dodging your questions about his behavior

If you’ve brought his behavior up, as you should have by now because communication is important, and he just ignores you, there’s trouble.

He won’t explain the shift in how he’s acting. This is a major red flag and a sign he’s not happy with you. [Read: 20 sure reasons why a guy could be ignoring you]

8. He keeps picking arguments

This is basically in the hopes you’ll end things so he doesn’t have to. He might make a remark under his breath or even bring up old issues you thought were solved long ago.

The point is, if he’s upset and bringing up random things to argue about, it might be one of the signs he wants to break up with you.

9. You don’t even go on dates

Date nights ended long ago. When your man isn’t even interested in dating anymore, things have gone south.

You can even try to suggest a date and if he refuses or makes up lame excuses, he doesn’t really want to be with you.

10. You feel alone even when you’re together

This is probably the saddest part about this whole thing. You feel alone even if you’re both watching the same movie right next to each other. This means there’s a very large disconnect and oftentimes, it’s followed by a breakup. [Read: 15 truths about feeling alone in a relationship]

11. Nothing he used to like is working anymore

You make him his favorite meal, and he doesn’t even notice. You try to tell some jokes he used to love, and he hardly quirks a lip.

If nothing you used to do to make him happy is working anymore, it may be past the signs he wants to break up. In fact, things might be over already.

12. He pays more attention to his phone or the TV than to you

This is a very common thing nowadays that can signal a bigger problem. If he’s constantly absorbed in his own things and doesn’t even look up when you talk, he doesn’t care. If he did, he’d pay attention.

13. His friends have been ignoring you

He’s probably already told his friends how he’s feeling. If that’s truly the case, they’re probably ignoring you too. They might say hello and be polite, but if they’re distancing themselves and not involving you in any plans, it’s because your man has checked out already. [Read: How to stop feeling neglected by the one you love]

14. Nothing you do is good enough anymore

It might seem like nothing you do will ever make him happy with the way he’s acting. That could be true. He might be over it already and is detached from all the nice things you’re doing. If you notice this, he’s done with you.

15. He hardly calls or texts anymore

If you didn’t text or call him, you wonder if you would ever hear from him when you aren’t together. So, if he’s taking a long time to text you back, hardly answers his phone, or tries to “get rid of you” so he doesn’t have to talk to you, then that is one of the signs that he wants to break up with you.

16. He never says “I love you”

Maybe he always used to say “I love you” frequently at the beginning of the relationship. But as time has gone on, he says it less and less.

In fact, he doesn’t even show you how he loves you anymore by doing things for you. So, if you feel like his love is fading, that means it probably is. [Read: 20 signs he doesn’t love you anymore and it’s time for you to start backing away ASAP]

17. He doesn’t want to make future plans

You thought that you were on the same page with getting married and having kids someday. But it dawned on you that lately, he never mentions these things anymore.

It’s almost like they were never discussed about in the first place. And if he can’t even make any plans for the future, like going to a concert with you in six months, then you know he has one foot out the door.

18. He starts telling lies

Maybe you are getting suspicious of his behavior so you ask him about things. You might ask, “Who just texted you?” or “Who are you going out with after work?” but he doesn’t tell you the truth.

If you have looked through his phone or caught him in some other lies, then he is definitely not into you anymore. [Read: Lying in a relationship – 15 steps to confront a lie and heal the love]

19. He doesn’t compliment you

In the early stages of your relationship, he probably told you how beautiful you are and how he loved your body.

But lately, he’s not even noticing when you get all dressed up and look your best. This means he is not paying attention and doesn’t really care about saying nice things to you anymore. [Read: 25 things guys say when they have feelings for you]

20. You are not his priority

Let’s say you asked him to do a favor for you – and you asked him weeks ago. If he puts you off and says, “I’ll get to it,” or “I’ll let you know,” then he is not making you a priority.

Even worse, if he is always doing other activities over being with you, then you are very low on his priority list and it may be one of those signs he wants to break up with you. Or worse, he’s totally taken you for granted and doesn’t care if you leave him or stay! [Read: How to make him regret taking you for granted and change his ways for good]

21. You are the only one making an effort

Maybe you’ve talked to him and asked him to work on your problems. He might have even agreed to do so, but you are the only one putting in the effort.

You are doing nice things for him, and showing him affection. But his behavior has not changed. If this is true, then you are in a one-sided relationship, and that can never work. [Read: How to fix a one-sided relationship before it ends in failure]

22. He avoids you

You know how it feels when someone is trying to avoid you, right? If you are feeling that with him, then you’re probably right.

He might be ignoring your texts, not returning phone calls, or not showing up when he said he was going to. Many guys think this is an “easier” way to break up. He might even be doing it so you get frustrated and break up with him first so he doesn’t have to.

23. He puts his friends first

Sure, everyone has friends and likes to hang out with them. But if you see a huge shift from the two of you hanging out and going on dates a lot, to him suddenly needing to be with his friends 24/7, he is definitely trying to give you a hint that he wants to break up with you.

24. He is being secretive 

Whenever you are around him, he hides his phone or holds it in a way that you can’t see the screen. Maybe he even sleeps with it under his pillow.

Every time he gets a call, he leaves the room or declines the call. If you are seeing some shady behavior from him and he is being secretive, then that is one of the signs he wants to break up with you. [Read: 24 emotional affair signs most people don’t even realize]

25. He threatens or jokes about breaking up with you

If you fight, he might bring up the fact that you are over with. Or, he might even say it to you jokingly like, “Well, why don’t you just break up with me then?”

He’s probably saying that because he doesn’t want to come right out and do the dirty work himself. He wants to mentally prepare you for it.

26. You feel unappreciated

When you do nice things for him, he never says “thank you.” You might cook him a romantic meal, buy him a gift, or give him a massage. If he is never showing appreciation for anything you do, that means he doesn’t want to. [Read: Are you a giver who feels unappreciated in a relationship?]

27. He won’t go to couple’s therapy

If you have been together for a long time – or even married – you might have suggested going to counseling together.

If he refuses, then that is one of the signs he wants to break up with you. Even if he does go but doesn’t put in any effort, then that is just as bad because he doesn’t care about the relationship’s future.

28. You basically feel single already

If your man is making you feel single, it’s one of those major signs he wants to break up with you, even if he hasn’t said a word in that context.

Being in a relationship should make you feel, without a doubt, like you’re a part of something. If that’s not happening, something’s very, very wrong.

[Read: How to get over a guy who used you and feel powerful and whole again]

It might be a hard pill to swallow when you realize your man is exhibiting a lot of these signs he wants to break up. Confront him and get it over with before you grow to resent each other even more.