Words of Affirmation: How to Use It, 56 Signs, Tips & Examples to Say It Right

Using words of affirmation the right way can help you connect better with your partner. Not sure how? Let’s find out!

When you’re in a relationship with someone for a while, it’s normal for the heat to fade away. However, when that happens, it’s also very easy for one or both partners to feel less appreciated, less wanted, and perhaps even less loved. The bottom line is that, as humans, we need words of affirmation occasionally. 

We need to be told that we’re loved and wanted. It perks you up, makes you feel good, and helps to cement the bond between you.

Of course, if there’s just one partner doing the affirming and the other just sits happily there and takes it, that’s no good either! Words of affirmation need to be given and received in equal measure.

[Read: Are you a giver who’s feeling unappreciated in a relationship?]

Understanding the different love languages

Your individual love language is how you effectively receive affection from your partner. For instance, you might be someone who responds best to words of affirmation, but your partner might have a totally different love language, and they respond better to receiving gifts.

We all receive love in slightly different ways. If you want your relationship to be as optimal and happy as possible, you must know what your love language is, what your partner’s is, and work from there. 

You see, if you’re all about words of affirmation, but your partner is about receiving gifts, you might be a little confused as to why they don’t respond in the same way when you tell them that you love them. Of course, they like it, but they don’t respond to it in quite the emotional way that you do.

On the other hand, if you give them a handmade gift, something you know that they will adore, they will probably be overcome with emotion, because you’ve hit their love language right on the head. 

[Read: 20 questions to ask your lover to learn everything you need to know]

What are the different love languages?

There are five love languages:

1. Words of affirmation 

Expressing affection through spoken words, praises, or appreciation.

2. Acts of service 

Doing things for your partner to help them out or make them feel good.

3. Receiving gifts 

Receiving small gifts from your partner shows them that you’ve put in the time and thought.

4. Quality time 

Spending time together doing thoughtful things or just hanging out.

5. Physical touch 

Cuddling, holding hands, and sitting close to one another to show love and affection.

What are words of affirmation?

Now that you know the 5 different love languages and what they are, let’s focus more on words of affirmation here.

[Read: 25 love-filled words to say “I appreciate you” without using words]

Basically, words of affirmation are any words, either written down or spoken, that helps another person *usually your partner* to feel loved, supported, uplifted, and understood. Words of affirmation are always positive and never negative. 

When you use these types of words or statements in the right way, you’re able to not only give love freely and effectively but receive it too. This helps to create a better relationship and a happier time for all concerned. For some people, words of affirmation need to be a regular thing. This is because they’re part of their individual love language.

[Read: The 25 best relationship topics to talk about if you want to be happy]

Signs your love language is words of affirmation

If the followings are true to you, your love language is probably words of affirmation!

[Read: Confusion of love – 20 riddles to make you wonder why love is so weird]

1. You enjoy hearing why your partner loves you

Not only do you enjoy hearing your partner say “I love you,” but you also love hearing them explain why they love you. No matter if you two have had this conversation a million times before, it just never gets old! [Read: What does it mean to love someone? 21 good & bad ways to define it]

2. You love picking out the perfect birthday card for someone

Do you just love sending birthday cards? You spend so much time picking out the perfect one and thinking of what to write to make that person smile. No, no, a birthday gift just isn’t enough. You need to make sure they know you wish them a very happy birthday!

3. Love songs hit super hard for you

If you’re having the latest Taylor Swift or The 1975 album on replay while imagining yourself dancing in the rain with the one you love, your love language is definitely words of affirmation.

4. You enjoy texting your partner

You love texting your partner and have a bad habit of overanalyzing their texts. If they send you short, one-word replies instead of a long paragraph, you go insane. And of course, nothing is worse than having a dry texter as a partner! [Read: 18 rules to get a guy to text you first if you don’t want to appear too eager]

5. You like expressing your adoration via social media

You’re one of those people who have to let the world know that they’re in love. You don’t mind showing off your partner on social media for the third time of the day, even if you two have been together for years! There’s nothing wrong with that, though. In fact, love should always be celebrated!

[Read: How to make a relationship official without relying on social media]

6. You hate unfulfilling conversations

You’re a great communicator, and for you, every conversation has to reach a goal or be entertaining or meaningful. You don’t like small talk. In fact, small talk makes you feel awkward and uncomfortable. [Read: 72 first date questions, conversation starters & things you must never ask]

7. You find it especially upsetting whenever you receive unkind words

Do you find yourself thinking about the unkind words someone said to you once?

You may not remember those times when your partner called you pretty, but everything they said during a fight, even when they didn’t mean it, was forever engraved in your brain! [Read: 33 strong ways to stop loving someone & read the signs it’s time to walk away]

Why words of affirmation are important

To understand more about words of affirmation, here are the reasons why they’re so important, especially in a romantic relationship.

1. Strengthening communication between you and your partner

People whose love language is words of affirmation are usually very good at communicating. They never walk away from a fight unresolved, and they find comfort in knowing how their partner feels and what they need. So, practicing giving words of affirmation can help you and your partner communicate better with each other.

[Read: Lack of communication in a relationship & why it signals the end]

2. Can help nurture emotional intimacy

Emotional intimacy is allowing yourself to connect more deeply with your partner through actions that express feelings. In order to nurture this, you two must understand each other, and words of affirmation can help with this. [Read: A lack of affection and intimacy in a relationship – is it time to walk away?]

3. Receiving words of affirmation can help someone feel a greater sense of self-worth and motivation

A sign of a healthy relationship is when the partners respect and support each other in all circumstances. By doing this, you help each other become more confident and motivated. This is another reason why words of affirmation are so important. [Read: 19 secret signs your girlfriend loves, supports & wants the best for you!]

Words of affirmation dos and don’ts

If you’re keen to use more words of affirmation in your relationship, it’s important to do this in the right way. Some people may not respond that well to suddenly being told all these wonderful things about themselves and others may feel very uncomfortable with words of affirmation. 

So, here are the things you should and shouldn’t do when using words of affirmation.

1. Don’t avoid being honest

You must always remind your partner of your unwavering love and affection, but it doesn’t mean you cannot correct them when they’re wrong.

Giving words of affirmation doesn’t take away your duty to be honest. However, your criticism must be constructive and not tear them down or make them feel bad about themselves. [Read: Signs of dishonesty in a relationship that push couples apart]

2. Mind your tone

Remember that in order to communicate the right sentiments of sincerity to your partner, it’s crucial that your words should be stated in the right tone and with appropriate inflections to be as comforting as possible.

3. Don’t say things you don’t mean

The things you say to your partner will be held quite literally if words of affirmation are their love language. So even if you’re in a fight, do not say something that you’ll regret later only to hurt them at that moment. They will never be able to forget it.

4. Compliment them on who they are on the inside

One big misconception of words of affirmation is that those people with this love language just loooove receiving compliments.

The truth is, giving too many compliments on their appearance will make them feel like that’s the only thing they bring to the table, or that you’re only with them for their looks.

So, tell your partner you admire a talent of theirs or how great their personality is. It’ll put a smile on their face for sure. [Read: Feisty girl – 35 personality traits that make her so scarily sexy!]

5. Don’t overdo it

If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation and you want to incorporate more of it into your relationship, remember that it’s quality over quantity.

Now, if you constantly tell someone that you think they’re great, it’s not going to mean as much as if you send them one very well-timed message or say it at just the right moment. [Read: Pillow talk is the best bonding tool for you and your lover]

Tips for using words of affirmation

Now that you know what to do and not to do when using words of affirmation, here are some tips that you can use to perfect it.

[Read: 20 heartfelt ways to make your girlfriend feel loved and really happy]

1. Be authentic

Always be authentic. This is the number one and most important rule. As mentioned above, just because your partner’s love language is words affirmation, it doesn’t mean you cannot correct them.

You are allowed and most encouraged to be honest with them, and they also deserve your honesty. Also, giving false compliments will make them feel bad. Lying will tear your relationship apart, even if it’s just a little white lie. [Read: How to tell if someone is lying about cheating on you – 15 subtle hints]

2. Be empathetic

It’s important that you recognize what your partner is feeling, especially when they’re feeling down.

Consider what it would feel like to walk a mile in their shoes, and then let them know that you understand them and will always be there for them. [Read: 24 signs of people who lack empathy]

3. Show your appreciation

Those who find fulfillment in kind words are people that flourish when others acknowledge and appreciate what they accomplish. The trick is to express your gratitude to your partner clearly, whether it is for the way they do the laundry, cook you dinner, or buy you flowers.

4. Say “I love you” a lot

If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, they won’t ever get tired of hearing you say “I love you.” You may find more creative ways to express your love, but these magic words will never get old. [Read: How soon is too soon to say “I love you”]

5. Mail them a letter

Texting is faster, but there’s just something special about a handwritten letter. So, don’t be shy to spill your passion onto the page.

Get a piece of paper and a pen and start writing a love letter to your partner. It doesn’t have to be Shakespeare’s level, just be honest and show them as much love as you can. [Read: What to write in a love letter – all the tips you need]

6. Post a note

Sometimes, love lies in the little things. Waking up and seeing little sticky notes around the house with words of affirmation from you will definitely make your partner’s day.

7. Give them a shout-out

There’s no need to go overboard and embarrass your partner with a public display of affection. All you need to do is tell others about how great your partner is. Show them that you’re proud to be with them.

You can do this by posting them on your social media, sending flowers to their workplace, or simply just bragging about them to your friends and family!

8. Point out their strengths

When your partner is feeling discouraged, point out their strengths. Giving them a pep talk will help motivate them and remind them of their values and talents.

9. Dial it up

Be extra kind and loving when your partner is having a bad day. They would be happy to receive constant reminders of how important they are to them. This will also show them that you’re their ride-or-die and will be there for them through all the ups and downs.

10. Know what words your partner likes most

Most importantly, you must learn what words of affirmation your partner prefers and use them as often as you can. Not only does this make your partner happier, but it will also help you two grow stronger and closer.

How to ask your partner to be more expressive with their words

If you’re the one whose love language is words of affirmation, here’s how you can ask your partner to be more expressive with their words. [Read: 25 easy but powerful tips to make your boyfriend happy every single day]

1. Set an example

If you’re keen to ask for more words of affirmation from your partner, one way is to set an example. Give them more words of affirmation and see if that triggers them to do the same for you. By doing this, you’re making it a habit in your relationship that should be reciprocated.

2. Be honest

If that doesn’t work, just be honest. Without using blaming language or becoming upset, simply explain to your partner that you would love it if they told you how they occasionally feel because it makes you feel good. 

You don’t want to force your partner to do so if words of affirmation just aren’t their love language. But equally, they should understand that you need this because it’s part of your love language.  

[Read: Feeling unloved in a relationship? How to feel loved and happy again]

3. Don’t be afraid to bring it up

There’s nothing wrong with communicating your needs to your partner. If you two are going to be together for a long time, you must know how to make each other happy and fulfilled.

This is a very important factor in learning to understand each other, and your partner deserves to know how they can be better for you.

4. Have a direct, open conversation about love languages

If your partner isn’t familiar with love languages, you two can sit down and have an open conversation about them. You can explain to them what they mean, maybe even show them this feature. If they care about you and want you to be happy, they’ll take this seriously and try to learn all the ways to help strengthen your bond.

5. Approach is everything

The goal is to show your partner how to convey their love and gratitude in a way that is comfortable for you. Be specific about what you require and have faith in yourself.

Come up with an example and explain to them why this makes you feel safer and more secure in your relationship. This conversation will intensify the trust between the two of you.

6. Return the favor

If you’re asking your partner to put in more effort to make you feel loved, you should do the same thing for them. A relationship should be 50-50, so you need to give in order to receive. So, communicate with them and learn about their love languages to show them how much you care.

The best examples of words of affirmation 

Not sure what to say and how to start using words of affirmation? Let’s check out some examples you can start to use. [Read: The 25 sweetest gestures for everyday life that guarantees a happy relationship]

1. I love you

This is the ultimate one when it comes to words of affirmation. Telling someone you love them, if you genuinely do, is the single best thing you can say, and it will truly make their day.

2. I’m so proud of you

Everyone wants someone to feel proud of them and when that person is your partner, it doubles the feeling. Tell your partner that you’re proud of them and wait for their smile. [Read: What does true love feel like? 20 feelings that express it best]

3. You push me to do better/you make me a better person

When someone tells you that you make them want to be better, it’s like your hard work is paying off. This is a wonderful thing to say to your partner and one of the most special words of affirmation. 

4. I really appreciate what you do for me

Everyone wants a “thank you” occasionally, and this is an upgraded version of just that. If your partner does a certain thing for you, tell them how much you appreciate it. [Read: 16 unique ways to show your appreciation for someone you love]

5. I couldn’t do this without you

Supporting your partner is one of the most important things you can do in a relationship. So, when your partner tells you that they couldn’t do all of this without you, it makes you feel strong and invincible. 

6. You look so beautiful

Who doesn’t want to be told they’re beautiful by the person they care about the most? Make sure you make eye contact when you’re saying it to add true authenticity. [Read: How to compliment a girl – 15 must-know tips & 35 of the best lines]

7. I love how you always try your best

This is another way of saying that you appreciate what someone does for you. Tell your partner one of the things you find most attractive about them is how hard they try. 

8. I really value how hard you work for us

Another way of showing gratitude – you can never show enough! Sometimes, we become complacent and just take whatever someone regularly gives to us, especially in a relationship.

These words of affirmation make sure that your partner knows it’s all worthwhile and that you truly appreciate it. 

9. I feel so lucky to be with you

Being told that the other person feels lucky to have you in their life is a wonderful feeling. It shows that you’re truly loved and appreciated. [Read: How to show your appreciation to someone you love]

10. You make me feel safe and happy

We all want the best for our partners, and that means we want them to feel loved, happy, and safe. When your partner tells you this, it gives you that warm glow, telling you that you’re doing well. 

11. I love it when you smile

A smile is a disarming thing that can change how someone feels. It’s also the most beautiful part of someone. Tell your partner that you love their smile and wait for it to appear! [Read: How to compliment a guy subtly & 23 tips to get him to crush on you]

12. What did I do before you came into my life? 

Again, this affirmation means that they’re the key to your happiness and that you love the fact that they’ve graced you with their presence. It’s a wonderful thing to say and goes well with “I love you”. 

13. I love how you make me laugh

When you make someone laugh, it makes you feel good. When your partner tells you that they love how you make them laugh, the feel-good factor is doubled. [Read: 20 funny compliments you can use to flatter & make them laugh]

14. You’re so funny! 

Everyone wants to be funny, and as long as this is said in the right way, e.g., without sarcasm, it’s a great compliment to receive. [Read: 15 rules to be a good partner in a relationship]

15. I love the life we have together

This statement tells your partner that you are happy where you are with them and that they can feel safe and secure in the relationship. What could be better than that? 

16. You work so hard, you really inspire me

Again, these words of affirmation are a nod toward gratitude, pride, and admiration. These are things that everyone wants to hear more of. 

17. You’re my special one

What could be better than that? You’re special, your partner recognizes it, and you’re the single best person in their life. That’s going to make you smile, for sure!

18. I’m always here if you need anything

Knowing that your partner is always there for you and has your back is a secure and wonderful feeling. This helps you to go through your life and do what you need to do, safe in the knowledge that you’re never alone. [Read: Powerful yet small gestures that show love in the biggest way]

19. I love your genuine kindness

Kindness is a trait that is often overlooked these days. When someone you care about points out how much they love this trait, it helps you to feel warm and fuzzy inside. 

20. Just seeing you makes my day better

To know that your presence has made someone happy and uplifted is a great feeling! To be told is even better. [Read: How to become a better communicator in your relationship]

21. My heart is so full of love for you that it’s about to explode

It’s great to know that you love them so much it’s overwhelming sometimes. Aren’t we all just want to be everything to someone?

22. I believe in you and know you have the ability to achieve your goals

Everyone is going through something. Your partner is probably working hard and fighting their own demons, so to hear that they have your full support is a great motivation for them to keep going.

23. You always have the best ideas and critiques

Not everyone wants to be complimented on their looks. The mind is always underappreciated. So they may forget if you call them pretty, but they will always remember that one time you compliment them on their way of thinking!

24. Your best is good enough

They don’t have to be exceptional to be loved by you. They’re trying their best, and you’ll always love them for that.

25. I absolutely love it when you [insert admired trait]

If there’s one trait that you love most about them, tell them. Maybe they don’t even realize it about themselves, and you pointing it out will be a huge confidence boost.

[Read: Decoding compliments – 50 cute words and their true meanings]

This is basically everything you need to know about words of affirmation. Hopefully, our advice will help you make your partner feel happier and more loved, while also encouraging them to do the same for you!